internettlesoup archive

2009-06-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

"artists'" representation of the photo i would have taken if i wasn't sure it would take me half an hour to find the camera

totally "finished"

2009-06-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Prototype 1

some things by people and me

2009-06-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

here is a small trailer for my project, now named: some things by people and me

things that are happening

2009-06-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

some words chapbook is being cool

that 'project' thing i was doing that you submitted to and forgot about will be finished about Wednesday
i am recording music under the name grass eating boy
i will make a longish chapbook of poems i have written this year soon
the new mum album is pretty awesome (but er, yet to be released i think)

i read one hundred strokes of the brush before bed it was ok and better than the film (different, nicer)

oh, pre-order my project.
it will contain a vcd, a chapbook and a poem
and maybe somethings
it will cost you nothing
just contact me somehow

i watched coffee prince
it made me smile and laugh

technically, if you want, you could submit a video for my project
seriously consider it
though the deadline would be... tuesday night maybe

i am going to change my blog sometime

i am going to start being a better person

photo interview

2009-06-17T13:29:00.000-07:00

http://barrypawelekinterview.blogspot.com/
he lives here

2009-06-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

2009-06-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

2009-06-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

if i get engaged does it have to be serious?
i mean, can i have a fiance with no intention of every marrying that person?
i think it would be nice for a while to be engaged
i think it would be funny

i think breaking this society rule would annoy 90% of people i talk to
i think this would involve a ring and i am not impressed with the idea of a ring

most of these thoughts were in my head at 2am in the morning

2009-06-04T05:41:00.000-07:00

Molly Gaudry Interview now does not have a watermark on it.
yey

a blog post, not a poem

2009-05-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

i saw a girl i have never met, but somehow i remember her taste

a poem, not a blog post

2009-05-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

since you left i have started to notice ants on the pavement

a poem, not a blog post

2009-05-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

i looked into the eyes of the boy who was watching me smell a mango

a poem, not a blog post

2009-05-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

the only girl i have ever loved was not impressed by the can can at the mouline rouge

sparse news

2009-05-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

Molly Gaudry photo interview is here

(if anyone happens to know of a fast free file hosting site which allows hotlinks or knows of a embedded flv player that doesn't have a watermark, that would be useful information for me)

2009-05-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

i am trapped in the place that contains all the "your mom" jokes that were never said aloud

2009-05-04T14:32:00.000-07:00

somethings on a sunday

2009-05-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

▲i like red newsom's I have no food

▲madeline ava's in the airplane over the sea (except not really) sounds good in my ears

i think she has also done this

▲i would like to interview someone in which they reply to my questions with photographs. Anybody interested?

▲i still accept submissions of words and moving images

▲rice boy was nice

2009-04-28T05:29:00.000-07:00

i bit my tongue deeply and blood filled my mouth

i have no one who will bake me a cake

it is good weather for umbrellas

if i had someone who loved me they would have bought me some good green tea

i feel fully content with my 'project' but the more people who submit the more i can collate

i would like to do an art project where i am locked in an empty room with someone, with no food
for maybe a day
i think that experience would teach me more about life than maybe an encyclopedia
the clouds have looked good lately

2009-04-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

i would trade my love for a lover

2009-04-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

my something project will consist of:
a vcd
a regular sound cd
something paper based

Contributors will get it free

Non-contributors may be asked to pay for postage, but that depends on how much money i feel i have. i would rather people have it than not.

It will be produced in a delicate caring manner and will probably be very time consuming to put together.

It will be finished by the end of May
Submissions deadline is mid may

For me, things i can touch, i generally pay more attention to than things on the internet
i am considering not crediting work with the work, but rather crediting at the end.
This is because when i read words, i am often prejudice if i know who wrote the words
If i did not know who wrote the words then i am more inclined to looks at the words "as is".
i may not do that.

i could do with a whole bunch more submissions

i may start tricking people into submitting
i may start going about asking people to submit
i may have a mental breakdown

i am 90% sure this will all work out ok

2009-04-20T12:32:00.000-07:00

reading go ninja go ninja go i feel less concerned with bad things that may be happening in my life

i think: if TMNT had the characters as described in these words then i would want to watch it

i like the colour

i like the story about splinter because i feel i relate to it a little

i like how the last word is 'fucked'

thank you crispin best

he couldn't love

2009-04-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

a changable list of things i would like people to submit to me, re: the post below

2009-04-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

videos of people reading things
videos of other things
music videos

words you like
stories
poetry
a written conversation
sentences

photographs
drawings
lines
colours

emotions
intentions
dreams
lives

notes:
1) as an individual or a collective you could submit multiple things
2) when i reach the point that i feel everything should have been collected and am ready to put everything together, if i feel somethings are missing i will have to do them myself
if i end up doing everything myself that will probably be a little weird
3) many things about this are still vague in my mind

4) you can submit, ask questions or generally send junk mail to me at carnekemen (at) gmail.com

here is what we can do

2009-04-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

we can do nearly anything

send me something, i will collect it and produce something
everyone send me something

it can be nearly anything

words, pictures, sounds

record yourself reading your favourite poem

paint your favourite colour

make something that is life

make something that is real

and send it to me

if you still want to work with me, tell me what you want to do
we could write

we could make music

we could do many things

at the end it will all become available somehow
it depends on what you do
but please, do

the end will be in approximately a month
start thinking, start dreaming

(also please consider submitting writing to PBP cause that would be cool)

that

2009-04-09T03:27:00.000-07:00

shortly after the unexpected death of his two year old son, Minowa wrote over a hundred songs to deal with the loss.

2009-04-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

does someone want to do a 'project' with me
i am uninspired
i think working with someone towards something will make me feel something
i do not know what the 'project' would be
i would hold a competition and the best idea would get done
but i fear no one would enter anyway

still...

2009-04-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

insignificantly disinterested in living

thought of the day

2009-04-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

"i could be happier"

2009-03-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

2009-03-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

....

tribute to real life by David Fishkind

2009-03-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

here

this is the first self-contained fiction on pangur ban party
it is mostly quiet and sad for me

but i like the subject and ideas that are presented

and what it lead me to think about

and people and places

it is like 11pm, when i feel tired but i know i will be awake for a while

Would you like a beer, or a cigarette, or a road trip to Utah?

2009-03-25T04:34:00.000-07:00

after reading We are only bodies i felt sadder than before i stared reading
i thought 'i would like this in book format'
i thought 'there is a lot happening in these words'

2009-03-24T12:05:00.000-07:00

quote of the day: "stick with your palahniuk faggotry, wannabe-bukowski emofag."

Interview with Glen Binger

2009-03-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Glen Binger lives here,
he has written a whole bunch of things which are linked to there
he also 'owns' 50 to 1, which is paused,
here is something to read

(note, the image links to a mixtape of songs that are pretty much the first few questions.)

who could win a rabbit?
Someone who likes rabbits enough to win one. Unless its the rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, then I want to win it to protect me from murderers and rapists. He can be my body guard.

what will you do and who will you turn to?
I will become famous and I will turn to my future wife and kiss her on the lips because she will be really pretty.

what can i manage?
A lot of things, I guess? I don't know you personally, so from what I've read you can manage writing and doing interviews. They are both good.

What are you trying to say?
"I dedicate this to all the pretty girls, all the pretty girls in the world, and all the ugly ones too. Cause to me you pretty anyways baby."

where is the line?
Somewhere between here and there.

would you rather shoot a woman or a man?
I don't want to shoot either of them, that would make me sad.

how is your novella?
It is coming along. I'm about half-way done writing it and soon I will enter the brutal editing process. I hope a publisher wants to publish it because they think it is awesome. That would be my ideal outcome.

how is your posture?
Excellent.

tell me something interesting that happened five days ago
Hmm... Well, I just got back from my last spring break ever. I was in Vermont snowboarding for a week. Then I came back only to find my computer had died. Currently I am on my friend, Jill's, computer. Oh, and I also discovered the ability to travel through time.

what is the furthest you have ever walked?
Consecutively? Probably ten miles from a friends house, in the town over, back to my house one night when I was in high school. My bike broke and I couldn't get a ride from anyone. I wasn't alone though, I was with my best friend Mark so it wasn't that bad. We talked about pretty girls.

what word/words do you think you should use more often?
Revolution. It's my favorite word.

how often (/do you) stop and think "this is life, it is happening right now" ?
Every second of every day. To be honest, it's what helps me write most of the time.

What is your relationship with coffee?
I want to use the word intimate. Is that creepy?

where in the world would you rather have been born?
No where. The Jersey Shore is where I belong. But I do love to travel to lots of places.

what will happen when you are dead?
I will be buried under the surface of the rock we float through space on. Oh, and I will be famous.

what do you think about this image ?
It is kind of creepy. Are those someone's toes? The bed looks comfortable but I wouldn't want to share it with whoever is in it. Unless its a really pretty girl; but from the looks of those toes, it isn't going to be a pretty girl.

2009-03-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

a glimpse of a grainy home movie

2009-03-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

a glimpse of a grainy home movie (gghm) seems to have changed since i last looked at it
i remember reading it to blurb it
i read it three times
i am going to read it three times more now

(some distractions happen)

i especially like this poem
the poems are human
i don't know what that means so much
but you can tell they are written
with care
and not by a machine
(if they were written by a machine i will lose all my brain)
these poems are good for soft rain, listening to the rain, being warm inside, but fully awake
and not alone

Men

2009-03-20T12:27:00.000-07:00

Written by Crispen best with pictures by Socrates adams-florou and Spiros Adams-Florou

(in england all our dark alleys have wooden flooring)

there is a picture of a picture in Men here
it is also a review there

Men made me laugh, which is good
Men is about men who i would not like to meet in dark alleys.
Men is about men you would probably meet in dark alleys
men is good to read, it is a sort of chapbook that can change your mood
in a good way
men has lines like "cottage pie makes me calm."
or "i masturbate while looking at pornography"

i think "i masturbate while looking at pornography" is a superior sentence, (note: it is not the whole sentence)
it should win an award
Men should win an award.
i think it improved/changed my life a bit, which is more than kanye west has ever done
Go read it already
here

note to whoever i eventually fall in love with

2009-03-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

(if, of course, that actually happens)

you totally missed out on today. My skin smells like cake, i talked to old men in a cemetery about David Foster Wallace (slight exaggeration), the sunlight was delicate and i spend most of the day just spending time. please be aware of what you have missed.

p.s. hurry up and find me

2009-03-19T03:27:00.000-07:00

spirit broken - repairs pending

2009-03-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

girls are just boys without a penis

list of albums i listened to everyday for at least a week when i first started listening to them

2009-03-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

i don't know why i did this
(features 'hover text')

2009-03-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

2009-03-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

2009-03-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

sushi tuesday

2009-03-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

this did not work very well

busy monday

2009-03-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

i did not really have much time to cook today and the soup which i did cook looked bad
i did not make the bread but it is very good
i did not make the cinnamon swirl but it was bad

2009-03-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

the carrot looks huge for some reason
that flat thing is made from beans and breadcrumbs and onion

i am going to buy food tomorrow
i found i had very little to work with

food blog

2009-03-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

This week* i am a food blog
if you want me to try make a food then i will consider suggestions
it will be funny i assure you
i don't cook meat

(*or until i get bored)

Coffee

1) put coffee in cafetiere

2) add hot water and leave to settle
3) put into little cup and drink

let’s be 'fucked’ together but not fuck

2009-03-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in nearly dark because i was about to watch irreversible
but then i couldn't find it
i have two hours of life now
i was going to spend those two hours feeling horrible and relatively terrified/horrifically sad
when my plans go wrong i feel lost

This is part of something i will probably never use:

wine made you feel closer,
but then much further
most of the letters i wrote to you i wrote pretty drunk
my handwriting is so poor it was mostly unnoticeable
and i doubt you paid much attention to the words anyway
i try to imagine life from your point of view and it makes me ill
even after all this time i am not letting go
what i really want is for you to call me pathetic and never reply to me again

i will not print this out and send it to you

let’s be 'fucked’ together but not fuck
because i am too afraid i won't say no

2009-03-04T14:05:00.000-08:00

i am a bad person

2009-03-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

at least 7 weeks late

(flac available if requested)

2009-03-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

i added a little twitter ap in the top left
i am going to upload music somewhere tomorrow
i feel i do not like the music i have made because i think i can do much better
i think i will try do much better
but i need to finish what i have at the moment
which is too bad for me i guess

the weather is cold and i am a little ill
so i have minor motivation
i feel like a boiled potato

i liked this a lot

2009-02-27T04:57:00.000-08:00

Watch Death to the Tinman | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

2009-02-26T14:57:00.000-08:00

i want all these t-shirts

available from no good record stores

2009-02-26T14:31:00.000-08:00

i have not finished the tracklist

Caves by Matthe Simmons (and a photo)

2009-02-26T13:39:00.000-08:00

Photo by dusdin

Caves by Matthew Simmons made me feel happy
it might have made me smile
Someone should read caves in a cave
aloud to the cave

I like this part
A lot of times, people are intolerant of those who are different. Like, say, if they are covered in a thin layer of red hair, or they have been born with no sweat glands (a REAL problem!), or they have a hairlip, or they are only attracted sexually to naturally occurring cavities in the sides of mountains that are big enough for a man to enter.

This could've been a real problem for him, work-wise. Career-wise.

So he kept it to himself.

I like other parts as well
But really, i like that Caves is written in a way that makes everything seem normal
normal or natural
it is non-judgemental
it is a good place for the "voice" of the writing to be

Sometimes my heart pushes my ribs by Ellen Kennedy

2009-02-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

I read this book while:
Sitting on the floor of my room
Standing in a corridor waiting for my tutor
Sitting in a library feeling intense emotions of peace and not caring much about anything

Reading the book is highly enjoyable
The layout of the book is nice, it made me want to read
Each poem/story is somehow different to all the others
in a way that made me really focus on what i was reading

There was a sort of atmosphere that made me feel safe
I read the words and thought "someone cared about writing this"

I just spent a few minutes picking up SMHPMR and looking into it and putting it down

I think if you tried to set this book on fire it would not burn
it would just look at you
confused

2009-02-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

productivity is rising

2009-02-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

does someone want to review/blurb/ help me with my final mix of my music?
it would be greatly benificial if you were familiar with at least most of the following bands:
Aiden Baker, Amiina, August stars, Ben Frost, Bazin, Birchville Cat Motel, Eluvium, Felicia Atkinson, Gregor Samsa, Hrsta, Johann Johannsson, Jean-Francois Laporte (best name ever), Lisa Gerrard, Khonnor, Max Richter, Mum, Nico Muhly, Odd Nosdam, Olafur Arnalds, Piano Magic, Saltillo, Sawako, Schiller, Seconds in Formaldehyde, Son Lux, Susumu Yokota, Sylvain Chauveau, Tim Hecker, Zen Savauge

This also doubles as a vague music recommendation list

(Also i put some poems here. I do not think toog is impressed)

i might try submitting this to everywhere i can find

2009-02-20T15:50:00.000-08:00

here is a poem: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Light Boxes by Shane Jones

2009-02-19T02:44:00.000-08:00

Light boxes seems to inhabit a world between possibilities
it seems both natural and not
i felt invited to read more than ordered or compelled
it makes a good memory
the emotions in light boxes are complex
for me, reading the book was a peaceful detachment
it is not escapism

i think now is a good time of year to read the book

Light boxes would sound a bit like Max Richter, it would have the texture of fresh strawberries, it would be noticing a lonely person looking at you

beauty from nothing

2009-02-17T12:32:00.000-08:00

here is some thinking:

i remember reading about solipsism, and a counter argument said that it would be required that the solipsist had created Mozart's symphonies, written Shakespeare's plays, invented all natural beauty, etc etc

That is fine (but not really a strong argument)

Everything in life is meaningless
I don't think there is a real strict proof of this
but i will give plausibility

consider sport, say football
to some people it is highly important
to other it is pointless
to others it is unconsidered
if football had meaning, then i would suppose somehow the meaning would be obvious
there would be some connection between all attitudes towards it
i don't see that

furthermore, for something to have meaning it requires some sort of objective existance
and i think that would require god.
if god exists then everything has meaning due to god's objectivity
but i am not going with that

i think it is obvious if you look at any single concept
you can see that there is no common attitude
and thereby there can be no meaning to the concept

This is important.
i did not write Mozart's symphonies
but i know plenty of people who don't like them
(or wouldn't if the listened to them)

and this applies to everything i find beautiful
so it follows, that it is me who makes the beauty

if i see the sky and feel happy, the happiness comes from me
because there are people who see the sky and feel nothing
i put the beauty into the world

i don't know what this means in terms of life
but when you are looking around seeing everything as empty
it is kind of nice to remember this

this quote "Hasisi said she would never fall in love again after a quarrel with Jackson..yes,she will never fall in love again,because she’s always in love." is my reason why i am stopping formally falling in love with 10,000 people

of course, i also put all the sadness in the world

fire to blood

2009-02-16T00:52:00.000-08:00

Ashes and Snow

"I disappeared exactly one year ago today. On that day I received a letter. It called me back to the place where my life with the elephants began.

Please forgive me, for the silence between us has been unbroken for one year.

This letter breaks that silence. It marks the first of my three hundred and sixty-five letters to you, one for each day of silence.

I will never be more myself than in these letters.

They are my maps of the bird path, and they are all that I know to be true."

If someone buys me this (ridiculously expensive) book i will write you a letter each day for 365 days

there are many things that can be said about ashes and snow, but i don't think they matter

ashes and snow is one of the films i find most magical, i watch these films at most twice a year
they contain certain emotional states
i try my hardest not to use up all the beauty in those films so that i cn return to them again and again without losing interest
i think there probably have been studies and people have written about the idea of 'using up' art
i think i read that it is part of the beauty, that the appreciation fades
without one you cannot have the other

that is not valid

2009-02-14T10:32:00.000-08:00

this is one of the saddest things i will know for a while

"Hasisi said she would never fall in love again after a quarrel with Jackson..yes,she will never fall in love again,because she’s always in love."
　　

The Bird Room

2009-02-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

I read Chris Killen's The Bird Room yesterday

it took one day to read

not the whole day

the book is powerful

sometimes it is unnerving

but mostly it is beautiful

what i really like about it is that the main character does not have his thoughts described
usually when someone is acting unnaturally in a novel, the author explains the crooked logic behind the actions
in the bird room this is not so
it feels a more natural approach

or more normal

or something

but the book is very good

it is the sort of book i want to force other people to read

the picture of Mr Killen at the back is odd

the book makes me feel emotion but not one particular emotion

at the end i felt happy

10,000 x news items

2009-02-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

I made this

let me know if there are any issues with it, such as spelling
(thanks to dj berndt for html help)

Pangur Ban Party has something new
check it
it is good

Pangur Ban Party is also accepting submissions

submit

i have reached a state of mind when i am almost constantly falling in love
i think this was pretty much the goal of my falling in love with 10,000 people
i think i will stop reporting about falling in love so much

if things go as planned i will have finished all my music after the weekend

Cloud Cult is my favourite band of this moment

one time in life i would like to achieve something and feel satisfied

i am going to go make coffee now

2009-02-10T14:50:00.000-08:00

partially representative

also +4 today.
i think for some reason i was particularly aware of other people
i think i am becoming increasingly aware of beautiful moments that exist for an instant
and in those instants i fall in love

Blake butler's EVER

2009-02-10T13:53:00.000-08:00

everyone loves blake butler's ever
that is good
(actually i don't know this because i don't read reviews until after i have read the books)

ever made me think of quay brothers animations
there are concepts and some sort of plot
but it is hard to actually make a simple sense of it all
i think ever is atmospheric
i think ever will read differently the second time
i look forward to reading it a second time
after time has passed

ever makes me want to feel sad
ever is the sort of book i want everyone i know to read, but i know most people would not like it or understand it
ever is a sort of education

images from ever will remain with me
i am worried i will find little doors about the world
i like the mix tape that came with ever
and the images in the book
and the images from the language
and the fact i can think to myself "i have read blake butler's ever and i liked it"

also: fuck yes

2009-02-09T23:33:00.000-08:00

i like this list.

i like:
06. Lack of free beer and oral sex after performing.
09. The fact that I would actually pay myself more NOT to have to play shows. For example, on average, I would pay myself $300 to stay home, get up early, mow the lawn, and clean the house as opposed to stand on stage until 2am getting drunk in front of strangers.
21. Lack of interest in general from people who claim to be “big fans.”
26. All fans with girlfriends serve as a constant reminder of what I should really be doing with my life; meeting a life partner.

etc etc

i am going to fall asleep and then wake up

2009-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

i think i have stopped falling in love so much.
i am planning many things.
if anyone want to plan something with me let me know.
i want to do and make and create.
i have nearly finished all my recording.
i have nearly finished something else.
i have nearly finished a few more things.

i like this cover song

2009-02-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

+fierce looking girl that i walked past.

19/10,000

exciting:
ordering a book from the internet
and then forgetting about it completely
and then receiving a mystery package
and finding it is that book

depressing:
finding a mystery package
and imagining all the wonderful beautiful things it could be,
then finding out it is just a book i ordered.

tragic:
ordering something from the internet,
it not turning up,
asking why it has not turned up,
finding out that it has not turned up because the person lost the order,
accpeting all the apologies,
looking forward to receiving this in the mail soon,
not receiving anything,
being totally confused and wondering exactly what the protocal is for not receiving something when you are now 100% sure it has been sent.
Feeling bad for the person who forgot to send it and then will be told that it has still not arrived.

2009-02-05T02:53:00.000-08:00

I think there should be some safe way to do bad things.
i mean: i will never get to experience doing an armed robbery ever in my life (i think)
I want to know how it feels, all the tension and confusion and hpyerawareness and everything.
but i don't want the negative consequences.
I want there to be a new law which means you are allowed to do crazy things and so long as you are just pretending it is all ok.
But i do not think that would be all so practical, when i comes to things like "i want to know how it feels to stab someone"
etc

I have only fallen in love with two or three more people this week.
i am blaming the cold
i am also blaming an intense lack of desire to do anything.
this is neither bliss nor depresssion.
i think "maybe i am breaking emotional boundaries. maybe i am an emotion pioneer"
then i think "no"

2009-02-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

i want to find someone who i can do nothing with

2009-02-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

i am making an album
an album of music
it is 30-70% complete
if you consider that it is a product of my entire life then it is i guess 99% complete
all i need to do is actually put some real effort in and feel motivated
feeling motivated is the biggest issue in slowing down my production
things i have yet to do:
Properly mix most of the tracks
Consider how i am actually going to 'do this'
Cover art
Track order
Actually decide what tracks i am going to use
Realise i only have about 2/3 of the length of music that i want
Decide on distribution methods
Think of names for each of the track

The names of the tracks at the moment are very basic descriptions
for example: 'friday night', which i happened to record on a friday night
or: 'piano craaaap', which is some piano piece

this blog post is mostly for myself: by announcing my intentions i will feel obliged to fulfill my plans.
My music is a mixture of drone, field recordings, basic piano music, and whatever else i decide to add.

Actually, a few days ago, while trying to record the ambiance of a museum, i managed to accidentally record some organ performance that was happening there
i might use it

i am maybe 32% excited about this
and 78% confused/worried/alone
i think i am truely breaking new music ground in a way that will go unappreciated by everyone who hears it
especially by me

my love is always platonic

2009-01-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

+ interesting looking old man with awesome grey messy hair who started talking to a puddle
+ crazy-but-clever-homeless-looking man, with a rucksack and all sorts of things on his back.
+ someone else

i have at least one eye

I apologise in advance if I am outta line here, but are you in gay porn?

2009-01-28T08:10:00.000-08:00

disgression probably required

2009-01-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

i 'deleted' 15000 words of writing i have done.
i now have 0 words left.
i meant to do that because i felt like starting everything again.
i am going to write on paper.
i am going to try hard.
i am annoyed that my internet capabilites are severely disfuncitonal.
i want to eat something that will make me feel happier.
i am stuck in a dilemma.
i have sat still for a long while an achieved nothing.
i ought to shave
i would talk about you but i cannot think of anything to say

Public service annoncement

2009-01-26T10:29:00.000-08:00

your = ownership (your house, your name)
you're = you are (you're old, you're making a mistake)
less = continuous ('time', 'weight' etc)
fewer = discrete ('seconds', 'hours', 'kilograms', 'ounces' etc)

2009-01-25T14:36:00.000-08:00

if i concentrate hard enough i can feel my heart beating

i think this story of me trying to fall in love with people will end up with my heart breaking under the pressure.
this story of me trying to fall in love with people was in part formed when i was thinking about running or something, and then i thought about whether or not my heart gets any exercise, and i felt sad that i was not going around falling in love so much.
i think my heart is in a state of atrophy.

i have been too zen this weekend to fall in love
actually, there was someone clutching a big book, so +1 for that

wallpaper painted white

2009-01-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

the music makes me feel ill,
the cats make me feel wild
then a little sad

you have to watch the whole video in order to have the right amount of anticipation and relief when the amazing part happens, otherwise it is not as exciting.

i like this writing

double glazing

2009-01-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

has anyone ever signed up to a dating service twice and chosen to date themself (themselves?) through it and then went on to have a sucessful relationship?

+1 but it is not an interesting story

2009-01-22T10:26:00.000-08:00

Thoughts on Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist

I really really do not like this film
i have many reasons why i do not like this film

is it right to give it a bad review?
are bad reviews a good thing?

consider:
a bad review may prevent someone from seeing a film they would otherwise see and like
not writing a bad review may mean someone sees a film they wouldn't have, and disliking the film
a good review may lead someone to see a film they don't like
not writing a good review may lead to someone not seeing a film they would like

is watching a film and not enjoying it as bad as not seeing a film you would enjoy?
for me, no.

so i think maybe i will only ever review things that i like.

thought:
only when i come against friction do i realy think things through.
i imagine many people i like/know will like this film.
i do not
so i have reasons why i do not
even if i will never share those reasons.

and i will not share those reasons because they make sense to me
if my reasons make sense from my point of view
then i suppose my reasons ought make sense from all points of view
(as such)
thereby, if i start saying why the film was bad
i might change (will change?) people's opinions of the film

i will make them not like something they will otherwise like
i will be making people sad

thought:
i am glad i am not a professional critic.

thought:
supposedly Japan has a similar attitude in that they never give bad reviews

[point: i do not like the idea of treating all the people in Japan as one mass, but it is convenient here to consider a sort of average approach/attitude thing]

it is probably that this highly positive attitude has lead to the production of "weird" things that come from japan
since everything is accepted, people cannot reach boundaries, but they will try

problem:
although i generally would like to / do take this approach of positivity, in that i will not say anything if i don't like anything,
this approach is particularly hard when all the people i know talk about things i do not like.
Especially Hollywood movies, and other films that are obviously only created to make profit and little else.

observation:
the closer films become to what i want to watch the harder they fail.
i mean, in a way i am ok with some lazy hollywood film, because it didn't try very hard.
because it didn't aim to be anything amazingly beautiful it didn't have a chance to give me any hope

when some film tries to be beautiful or funny or smart, but end up bad, then i feel more hurt.
i mean, i feel more.

end:
spend your money on Naive. Super or something rather than N+NIP

thank you for reading.

post script:
i may be falling in love with a cashier at a supermarket but that is yet to become definite.
otherwise i haven't really seen anyone today, so no falling in love.

2009-01-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

i fell out of love with someone.
it is sad.
the more you know about someone the less likely it is that you will remain in love
maybe that is not right
i have started sleeping healthily for the first time in 3 years.
at 7.42 in the morning i am wondering what i have lost by fallng out of love

i could easily just decide to fall back in love
but i am not going to
i am feeling alone

2009-01-20T11:48:00.000-08:00

- girl who got scared when a bike went passed her

- woman driving down a hill clapping her hands who looked at me the exact moment my smile broke into a grin

-boy walking along the street focused on a rubix cube

- man parking his car and walking towards the lake, talks to the geese who come towards him and tells them he has no food for them

- north korea.
not that north korea
not this one either
this north korea
this site is just so rhetorical that i cannot help but love it
for example in an article about
"Book Praising Songun Politics Published in Egypt"
it says
"A book-releasing ceremony took place at the Egypt-Korea Friendship Association on December 27 last year.
Present there were figures of the committee, the association and the press circle and masses of people. "

masses of people?
north korea is good at doing masses of people.
i do not think there were masses of people there.
I imagine there were maybe fifteen people at the book launch, most of them friends and family of the author
A couple of local newspaper people, and figures of the committee to make things look good.
But to say masses of people were there is just so enthusiastic.
And so naive
The whole website is such fantasy that it goes beyond normal judgement.

flash-photography in the rain

2009-01-18T13:41:00.000-08:00

the photo i received in the mail yesterday, and i do not know who it is from
i have not fallen in love for two days
i am 25 pages away from finishing being and nothingness

*spoiler*
the last line before the conclusion is:
Man is a useless passion.

it is sad because it makes a lot of sense
i am going to try harder to fall in love with people
i do not know how
i may just start walking around smiling
but try to forget i am smiling

i think i instantly fall in love with anyone who smiles at me

corporeality

2009-01-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

today i fell in love with someone in my seat.
although i am as territorial as a cat
i am more shy than some very shy animal
but i had to sit there because it was an exam and i was meant to be there
technically she is the only person i have actually spoken to today
anyway, going about trying to fall in love with people is complicated
that person is in my lectures and i think she is the nicest person i can think of
but i wouldn't have fallen in love if i was going about trying

then i got worried
i am walking about trying to fall in love with people
i saw maybe at least 400 people today
and it is nice to realise that my perspective towards others has shifted
now i see everyone with this potential to be loved

the trouble is that i am rejecting a lot of people
this is ok because for the most part i am not rejecting them for who they really are
but i am rejecting them on what little i know
i feel like a mean person

it would be nice to change my plan to: trying to fall in love with 6.7 billion people

i listened to a 3 minute song on repeat for an hour, accidentally

2009-01-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

today i went to a museum
i thought: a museum is a good place to fall in love with people
i looked at all the paintings and mostly forgot why i was there
on the way back i fell in love with a girl carrying a plant while she crossed the road

i am going to brainstorm efficient ways to fall in love with more people more quickly
i think the ideal solution would be to fall in love with the same person for 9993 days
i think i would declare that such a method is valid
I think the likelihood of success by this method is <0.001%

2009-01-14T13:55:00.000-08:00

today

2009-01-13T14:53:00.000-08:00

today i tried to fall in love with ten thousand people.
i already had three people i could think of who i could consider as already being in love with.
so today when i left my house i went looking for new people to fall in love with.
unfortunately, i habitually avoid places where lots of people are.
but i did manage to find three new people for me to be in love with.
but i kept wanting to go up to people and telling them how sorry i am that i decided not to fall in love with them.
i think there are lots of people that i cannot fall in love with.
i am sorry lots of people.

in conclusion, after day 1, i have 6/10,000

2009-01-12T16:26:00.000-08:00

i think i should fall in love with ten thousand people but not tell any of them

i think that would be productive

flesh feast

2009-01-08T16:27:00.000-08:00

flesh feast is a computer game
it is also a chapbook that Socrates Adams-Fl orou wrote and sent

i was excited to get it.
my camera is out of battery power otherwise i would have a picture of it
it looks dangerous

it has a mood
it is not a good thing to read before you go to sleep
i like it a lot, i read it and thought "this has had a lot of crafting put into it"
it feels grounded in reality, which is good.
if it was a zombie film the zombies would be agressive and killing lots of people rather than just ambling around

the colour of the work is grey
i am glad i was able to read flesh feast

Great is

2009-01-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

(great)

i like great

when i read it i thought: more things like this should exist

i judge that it was 90% improving of my life

and 10% disproving of my life

that judgement is on a scale of 10

this is all i have to say

go buy it here

though actually that link is for preorders.

also, go outside and laugh a little and come back inside and feel better

if you are already outside: go inside, then go outside, laugh, return inside, then go back here where you are now

you have your orders.

2009-01-01T12:43:00.000-08:00

i was thinking i want more emails

then i changed my mind

i am going to start the international adam coates mail exchange

i want proper paper mail please

write me a letter and i will write back

if you want to do this email me and i will tell you my address

hooray for email

hooray more for 'real' mail

internettlesoup[at] gmail.com should work

here is a photograph:

2008-12-31T13:03:00.000-08:00

2008-12-31T06:34:00.000-08:00

i tried to hunt down the origin of this tagging game thing
that was a mistake
but it was an incredible journey
there are lots of blogs on the internet
lots of blogs about babies or pregnancy
some blogs about sex
blogs about families, or newlyweds
lots of people talking about their lives
lots
and lots
and then there are also blogs that no longer exist
which is somewhat unfortunate after visiting surely more than a hundred blogs to find a dead end

the things to write about yourself sometimes was 8 things
sometimes 6
and then eventually the meme turned back to its original form
original in as much as i could find it and gave up

the rules of the meme are as follows:

Link the person who tagged you.
Mention the rules in your blog.
Tell us about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

that is all i found
Lisa Ladehoff tagged me
go visit her

after only thirteen blogs i should have found the source
6^13>6.7 billion i think

i just found "Technorati currently states it is tracking over 112.8 million blogs, a number which obviously does not include all the 72.82 million Chinese blogs"

oh

2008-12-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

Angry Erotic Sheep in the Woods from kschaal on Vimeo.

2008-12-28T08:44:00.000-08:00

the dreamlife of letters

why do sunsets look nice?

2008-12-27T07:58:00.000-08:00

because they are temporary

because normally the sky is only one colour (as such)

because you have been told they are

because it is a period of transition

why is this a stupid exercise?

because you are not meant to form logical arguments about these sorts of things

because i am just being fucking stupid

because it is not a stupid exercise

2008-12-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

click

2008-12-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

i need a secretary to sort out the thirty or so abs i have saved on firefox

i have spent weeks avoiding opening firefox just because of the deluge of tabs that will attack me

my hands are significantly cold and i feel like i have not achieved anything in the previous 23 days

i should be reading more

and reading faster

i do not feel content

i would tell secrets to my secretary

tim hecker makes nice music

here is a poem about smiling at people

Eyes may be beautiful

But i have not seen enough

Also i don’t know what means something is beautiful

Except what i have been told

And if beauty is as i have been told

Then eyes are beautiful

I should probably stop thinking about this and just go stare into someone’s eyes

Not in a creepy way

But this would mean i would first have to find the right person.